Interview drama and the waiting game

I had an interview today!

waiting

But, the waiting game is the hardest. When I think of all the efforts and hoops I went through last night to prepare for this interview; I even had to run out to a clothing store to get an/and/or lightweight top to wear under my old suit jacket, or a new suit jacket or both. I brought home both.

About the clothes first; With the weight-loss I was finally, finally able to fit into a very nice Jones New York dress suit jacket which I purchased 5-years ago in 2009. I wore it to one interview and even then I couldn’t button the front button. As I got fatter and fatter I got to a point where I could no longer wear it and even fake that it doesn’t fit — oh my, the buttons and the gap between the buttons and button holes were 7-inches apart!

Fast forward to 50+lbs lighter… now the jacket is old, looks old, seems discolored or dusty (it’s black) fits me for sure but is actually too big in some areas like the back and shoulders (gaping – loved seeing that but it’s not attractive) and the buttoning of it is too high-waisted. Who knew? I mean, I could never button it before.  Well, now I know.

I could get away with wearing the old jacket but how I felt in it was more the issue. I’m an older woman (50’s) and I’m guaranteed that my competition will be much younger and those of them who really want to arrive pristine, they will be tough competition. That said, I wanted to look as contemporary as possible, rather than frumpy — and I would have.

Ya know, I just didn’t want to look like I borrowed someone elses old clothes!
I bought a beautiful short suit jacket that certainly does put the old one to shame.

I looked smashing this morning. I arrived 15-minutes early as I always do…. (and they were already ready for me, so Kudo’s for me). With all that homework I did, the clothing drama; though the jacket was easy to find and buy… and I was home in less than 1-hour of shopping, the interview was rather short and they didn’t ask me a single behavioral question. My two interviewers told me much about the job that I would be doing and I confirmed that I would be excited to take on the job and (when do I start?)…

When you have an agent who sends you on these interviews, it’s the agent that has already done the selling of me; and therefore why I had the interview at all. So, generally the interviews are short  and sweet and seem more to the point of ‘looking me over, reading me and to see if we’re going to be compatible’.

I liked the job and two ladies who interviewed me. They are the two that I would be working with and if they feel we’ll be compatible, I’m in.

Hopefully, neither of those ladies owned the black Mercedes that I probably lightly door-dinged when I got out of my car…

So anyway, a 15-minute appearance in the new suiting jacket!
I hope it was worth the $90 investment!

In other important news…

newsThere isn’t really any. I’m being very serious again about food and exercise… that over being just serious and it looks like a lb has fallen off. Onward and downward. Today I shopped for low sodium turkey breast slices, Oroweat extra fiber whole grain bread and … I guess that’s it. I’m not a fan of sandwiches. Usually they equate to high sodium, too much bread and any sandwich must have cheese. Fortunately I don’t like mayonnaise and always use mustard.

My trainer is constantly after me about eating at least up to 1500-calories a day. I’m finicky and certain things that people do eat that is low-fat and high in protein are things I don’t like. Hummus, black beans, soy stuff; stuff like that to get calories and protein are things I won’t eat. I try not to eat grilled chicken salads because of the dressing and the need to prepare the chicken for the salad. Too much work and why would I buy lettuce that will go bad in a day or two and then the fat in the salad dressing issue. No, don’t like just vinegar, so. So it’s hard and lunches for me are the hardest. Anyway, the sandwich thing is pretty easy and highly portable so I have gone this route for my lunches. Got.to.eat.

Sandwich was delicious.

Last night I texted my trainer that I would not be able to do the session at 6:00. I wasn’t contacted until 3:30PM for the interview which was scheduled for 9:00AM the next day. I had to ‘study’, get clothes together, get hair washed night before to save time in the morning, and so on, not to exclude the inevitable impromptu shopping trip! Sure, training is only an hour investment in time but… getting there: 15-minutes, warm up: 30-minutes, Training: 50-minutes, getting home: 15-minutes, shower — as long as it takes. That’s more like close to 2-hours and I wasn’t up that distraction or interruption of my time.

Anyhoo…. must go put up Halloween lights!

  hlights

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Getting back!

Finally! I hit the gym tonight at 9:00PM.

I’m feeling as though I am, or possibly experiencing some depression. I’ve never had depression (I don’t believe in it) but spending 80% of the day in bed (on the bed; to be clear) watching TV is not a good thing. At times in my life the staying on the bed watching TV is normal, but caring less or finding a reason go get up and off the bed, is not.

I knew my best medicine would be exercise… the hardest part is getting there. Today I purposely waited until the evening to go since I knew my mom was in good hands with her husband at the symphony. She’s in good hands with him at home as well but with them at the symphony I knew it was safe in assuming I wasn’t needed the house.

But, in the midst of my gloom-and-doom-fest this evening I got a text from her husband. He says that they are at dinner before the symphony and she’s having trouble finding the silverware on the table. “Knife, fork, etc.” Poor thing. I do hope she at least found the wine glass. I mean that in love (mom loves her wine with dinner).

My.heart.sank! I ate with them just two days ago and she knew of and found the silverware just fine and had no trouble eating at all. We have no surgery date yet and with this new status report… it might be useless unless it happens soon. Also with this news, the reality; is becoming a real-er reality.

Something in that message from him triggered me to get serious about getting to the gym. Strange? Why? Because an hour of distraction in a healthy way will make for a stronger me and it looks like I’m going to be needing a lot of workouts in the weeks and months to come. And because if I am having depression (I don’t think I do, I’m just not motivated to do much; and I think this is normal and understandable) news like this means that without exercise, I will only get worse and I need to stay strong!

Accomplished!

52-minutes of cardio; rowing, stair climbing and Incline Training. A little TRI of sorts — or a combo plate; you decide. I’ve improved so much on the stair climbing beast but in my mood and sense of self-esteem (being low on this day) I climbed next to a young woman who was banging it out at probably level 12 with no rest breaks. She was racing those stairs… And I felt so insignificant being on level 7 and was taking water breaks. I KNOW it was all in my imagination but she just gave me a vibe that read… you are a loser and you’re not taking this seriously. (well, she doesn’t know how hard it was to get there =D in the first place!)

So I did my 12-minutes on the climber (should have done 15) and then rowed for 17-minutes and 23-minutes on the incline trainer steadily on 21-incline at 4.5-MPH. And I had NO trouble with that. I could have done it all night. Funny what works for us and what we’re comfortable with. And, that’s exactly Andre’s point — and why he wants me on the stair climber — because it isn’t easy for me. Whatev, I did a bit of each that he wanted me to do and then the Incline Trainer where my comfort zone is.

The workout felt good, I was distracted and even at one point I was either so wrapped up in thought I didn’t notice how much time had passed, and other times I was complete in the fitness mind zone. So I got a break.

No plans for tomorrow; we don’t really make plans these days but I will head over to moms, anyway. But before that, I need to start making some calls. I can’t get a straight story out of her about whom she’s told or called. Her husband can’t give me a straight answer either and that said, getting any information out of either of them is a huge frustration and challenge. One sure thing is, nobody will be happy with me if she goes into surgery and/or dies and I never told anyone she was ill. :nono4:

So, I shall take things into my own hands. I never know if what I decide to do on her behalf is something she would want me to do or not, but the sad thing is — she won’t recognize or remember it anyway. :cry2:. Now this is not to say she isn’t coherent and looking healthy (at least I think so) – she’s just not sure of what she’s doing half the time.

ANYWAY Good for me for making that difficult step to get back to the gym; I’ve gone but in the past week and a half, only on Andre days :n:NOT GOOD.

Hello my peeps!

Does anyone miss me? Remember me?

Well, here I am and gosh! I haven’t written a thing since May — 4-months ago!

I don’t have the time right now to write a great deal but I’ll be back. Below are a few things you may want to know…

I’m still getting personal training twice a week (since February)

I’ve lost ‘about’ 50-lbs — maybe a little more, or maybe an ounce or two less but certainly in the 50-lb range. I am no longer obese and my BMI is almost normal. My trainer has worked me so hard this past month that we just haven’t gotten around to the weighing and measuring.

I am wearing anywhere from size 8- to 12-jeans (brands matter on that one). I am wearing size M T-shirts and sweatshirts. size M for heaven’s sake.

I look and feel completely different! Completely, and how nice it is to get up in the morning and throw on ‘any old thing’ because everything fits (well, everything is new) and this makes life so much less complicated.

That’s me below. I’m not big on showing my face in blogs but I promise, it’s me. Maybe some of you will recognize the throw rug? No offense to anyone for any part of what I’m going to say; but I had no idea that back last January in the photo on the right — I looked like a biggest loser contestant — water bottle and all. I find it offense looking when people drag around a water bottle like an accessory. Especially large people. And there I am! A large person in a big short carrying a water bottle. :eyesrolling: But in all honesty — I never saw myself as being that big! — when I was that big. Big yes, not that big.

me

Broken foot

I guess it’s healed. I saw the foot doc after the prescribed time and even though I had minimal clearance for using the treadmill and I was supposed to ween myself away from the cast shoe…. Trust me — I didn’t ween and I did use the treadmill – cautiously and as prescribed for no more than 30-minutes with short strides. And that lasted about a week.  I was due back at the ortho sometime around the 4th of July but I didn’t have time for it. Thinks seem A-OK and on my next hiatus I’ll drop in on the foot doc!  In fact, on the 4th of July, while on a StayCay in Coronado, CA I ran the sidewalk parallel to the beach. I ran and it felt fabulous!

But, now that i can run, I really don’t want to. LOL!

Still working!

I’m still a “temp-hopper” but consistency is good and I’ve been “temp-hopping” for 8-months now with very short breaks between jobs. The longest I’ve been on hiatus is 2-weeks.  At that time, after 2-weeks I got nervous and took the first job that came my way. The pay is on the lower scale but on average this year; of pay rates I am right in the ballpark of where I should be in wages — Oh, if only they paid my Insurance!

The cold hard fact is that I love temping. There is a certain type of freedom in it, in that you don’t (I don’t) get all stressed out about things like I used to in my higher pressure jobs. I take my work very seriously no matter what I’m doing but there is also that little bit of, “oh well’ attitude that I allow myself. That feels good – to not wear the burden of all that may or may not go wrong in the job (I mean, not that it would) but how can I express this? It’s just easier!

OK – gotta run. More to come and pictures too!

Stay tuned…

Personal Bests — Lying down and sleeping!

Bodybugg recent “Personal Best” report

personal

This report doesn’t exactly make me shine in the physical fitness light; what with all that lying down and sleeping.  I have to admit though that 9-hour of sleeping on February 10th — well, that must have been much-needed sleep!  And, February 10th was last Sunday — my day off from fitness and I spent much of the day curled up with TV on the DVR. So yeah, 9-hours in this case would be correct!

trainStill, other reports tell different stories and this is tonight’s Personal Training session. My trainer decided that tonight was the night to let me have it — down and dirty and I came home with dripping wet hair —  and not from washing it. That has never happened to me — even on 5- and 8K runs so this is an extreme change in my physical activity. Body confusion he says, “Body Confusion” and my body was most definitely confused by this evenings performance!

But, many things and changes to this body of mine! Today I wore to work the black suit jacket that I couldn’t fit into for my interview 3-weeks ago. This is major!

The job

Despite the disappointment yesterday, the job is going well and I do really like it. I’ve decided that there will be lean days and days that will run into overtime. Things will be just fine. I hope.  I love that I am working independently and free to move around and make my own decisions about just about everything. Most of my jobs; long term and temp have been that way but try working in a call center for 9-weeks and you’ll understand just how precious this role and environment is. The pay doesn’t hurt either — All that fun AND good pay!

My left foot

The foot is still swollen on the bottom in the front on the right and it continues to hurt more after rest than walking on it. It’s like the pain works itself out with the first few steps but it’s still uncomfortable. My trainer showed ‘some’ concern as he clearly saw the swelling. He suggested a few things; see the doctor, Ice it and it could be common trauma to the foot after weight loss. He says that when we lose our balance and strides change a bit and the body is actually adjusting itself — particularly for those who do a lot of cardio/running/climbing — NEVER to quote him on that but that’s (sort of, kind of) what I heard.

I guess if I am able to power-walk for 61-minutes one night and walk 5-mins each way to my car in the employee parking lot, and do intensive — INTENSIVE training with “A” then maybe the foot is not so bad — maybe it’s just the adjustment thing.

I’m calling it a night early for a change — maybe I can break another sleeping and lying down record?

Taking donations!

service agree

service agree2

So there you have it. And WAY more expensive than I anticipated.

persI had a long sit down meeting with my trainer friend “A” who is now my real trainer. I had left a message with the club for him and part of that message read; “….because I cannot do it alone“.

“A” calls me back and says he gets that I don’t want to do it alone — and I corrected him. No! It’s not that I don’t want to do it alone — it’s that I cannot do it alone. It isn’t working for me and I don’t have time to wait any longer. I’m willing to take pause and admit that I am not being successful and don’t have a course of workouts to follow that have been successful.

 “A” said that him especially; but the other trainers too all knew who I was at the gym. I’m the one (one of the ones) who they see work out so hard and get no real tangible results. I laughed and said to him, “I know. I knew that each time you saw me and sometimes talked to me that you were “dying to get your hand on me” — meaning that you were so antsy to help because you knew you could help me better than me.

I told “A” that I had no doubt that he would work me into a lean and healthy person but that the bottom line was the money. And here I am now using a credit card I have been forbidden to use to the tune of… well I’ll just say the down-payment alone far exceeded the cost of the 5- sessions I was going to buy.

But, we have to do what we have to do and I now have 23-sessions and 2-free sessions. That said, 1 down-payment of 50% of training cost and 1- Bodybugg core armband ($99).

bbYou know, I get that the Trainers are supposed to tell  you certain things to entice you into training and sure, “A” used about 2% of that stuff but he truly knows and respects that I want this weight gone, he knows I want to be fit and he knows I need help. He told me that the Bodybugg is the ONLY way to know exactly where you stand with calorie burn, calorie intake and other things I won’t quote him on because I’m sure I’ll say it wrong or incorrectly and make him sound like a fool! LOL! But, he said it was essential to use this tracker and as well it enabled him to log into my account at any time and see where I am at any second with food, calories and exercise and so on. I guess I’m on a leash!

I see him again tomorrow to set up the Bodybugg and go overt my “plan”. We start training on Saturday morning at 7:00 a.m. But tomorrow, after I see “A” I have to start the program with a day of cardio. So OK, I can do that!

The amount of accountability this guy is going to have on me; or expect from me (an me for myself) is going to be outrageous. He’ll have me monitored 24/7 on the Bodybugg; though he won’t but he has the ability to tap in anytime he feels like it. He wants me to send photos of what I eat (some people do that he says) and to be at the gym 6-days a week. 4-days a week on my own and 2-days a week with him. If he doesn’t see me there, or see a check-in — he’s going to call me and ask why not.

Good for me. But where am I going to get those next two payments due at the end of Feb and the end of April? After that… the next 3-months are paid up.

Well, Scarlett will worry about each payment when the time comes. Not now.

OK. so about the rest of life

Jobs. Who knows. I have the phone interview tomorrow which I fully expect to to ace. I’m to understand that it is a formality to see how I sound on the phone with people — professionalism, personality, clarity and to be articulate. I have another in the works and this morning I was to start my seasonal job. At the time I accepted the continuation of my role it seemed like a good idea. But when the schedule came in last night and I learned yesterday from my agent(s) that I needed to be as readily available as possible, the work schedule I was on prohibited me from being able to get away.

This morning I was up and ready for work but I seemed to be running early and took my time around the house to get a few things done before I left for day one of work at the seasonal job. When I got into the car I noticed the clock in the car told a different story and I would not make it to work in time — or it would be very tight. Yes, my watch had stopped again!

I asked myself what benefit there was in completing this particular season? I’m 99% sure I’ll be giving notice on Wednesday and even thought I had thought about finishing out the week even if I got the other job… I thought… why? I can’t imagine earning $1 an hour, 8-hours a day up to Sunday. The job will be over 2- 3-days after Valentine’s day so keeping myself tied up for just over 2-weeks suddenly seemed — ridiculous and pointless when great opportunities are knocking.  We’re not allowed to take calls or make calls unless we’re on breaks and so… when would I take a call or go to an interview or do an phone interview?

So even though I was 2-blocks away from home and on my way to work I turned around and came home and wrote my apologies and resignation as well as called the team captain. No point in starting the job late, getting a “late occurrence” on the first day and quitting the next.

And what did I do after I got home? First, a long sigh of relief. Made several administrative like calls to my agents and wrote thank you notes. A friend called and we went to lunch — ate REALLY FATTENING food and I photographed them for “A” to let him know that what is in those photos are the end of that era of eating.

“A” was horrified!

Those photos will appear in tomorrow’s “What I ate Wednesday” post!

The short version!

Over the past few days I’ve written plenty of posts…
and kept them as drafts.

That is — unfinished work! And as each day passes that they are not posted, the posts become old news.

So I’m starting from here!

Fitness and food

Terrible. Not horrific but I’m on strike until I begin Personal Training. The decision to have Personal Training was difficult. For every 2-days that I decided, absolutely I’m going to do this, I put it off waiting until I get the duplicate credit card in the mail — I can’t sign up with a card. I have cards, but it’s going on a particular one. During this wait period I’ve had moments of not wanting to pay for and not sure that I will follow through with what he tells me to do on my own time.

And then I try on clothes for interviews. I’d look for other things to wear that don’t hug my back fat and I often wish my arms were at least as lean as they were a few months ago (and trust me — they weren’t that lean, just leaner). I think about how I will look in July for the big HS reunion bash. I even think about how I’ll look when I see an old friend in 2-weeks. I think, and I think and I think… and then I think that if I don’t do something right now — with a professional — nothing will change between now and July or any other time.

So I dropped by the gym today after two successful interviews and left a message for “A” to call me. No, I didn’t workout.

That then is that first real step toward commitment.

Now I figure that I can go to the gym between now and when I get a concrete plan from “A” but I’ll still be on the hamster wheel working out aimlessly with no results.

So until I start training, get the workout and the plan from”A, get set up online with their food log and other goodies … I’m enjoying eating the things that I shouldn’t. Be. And yes, I understand that is not the correct approach to pre-training, but — that’s just the way it goes!

Interviews

Two Interviews completed today and it looks like I got the job for the first one. It’s not official, official but I’ve already been called back for brief phone interview. The second interview went well also but this job pays less money. IT also has longevity potential. The first company I interviewed with today is the one that will bring in the buko-bucks — but will only run 60-days. Still, a lot of buko-bucks so it’ll be worth it.

And then… tomorrow I start back at work at the old job for next season madness. Until I get hired by a company that actually pays well; I’ll keep plugging along at what I have.

PostScript; “A” did not call me today or this evening… kinda ticked!

Stay tuned…