A little more than annoyed

Yeah! I’m a little more than annoyed that my BodyBugg will not record my 1-hour recumbent bike, rides as physical activity.

There’s nothing worse than going to the gym for the sole purpose of getting logged in at the counter, a possible sighting of me by my trainer, for good measure, and the hope to add 60-minutes of physical activity on my BodyBugg. (I said sole purpose because tonight — I didn’t feel like going to the gym and forced myself…. to go to to the gym for the sole purpose of getting logged in at the counter, a possible sighting of me by my trainer, for good measure, and… burn some calories of course, as well!

How disappointing to come home, sync, and realize that only 38-minutes of physical activity was recorded. What a waste!

Well, not really a waste of time but people… In reality I had 38-minutes of physical activity throughout the day and 60-minutes of cardio for a grand total of 1-hour and 38-minutes.

I am driven in exercise by numbers and personal competition. And awesome data. Now the BodyBugg WILL record the activity as daily activity – that part that counts calories again expenditures… BUT, the BodyBugg will not record any data in the “Physical” activity data so that is rather disappointing; at least visually. That said, my data records are showing a decline — when there is not one. BUT, reading the threads on Facebook about this topic on BodyMediaFIT, many people have complained about a bugg in the BodyBugg for bike riders.

So there you have it. When my foot heals I’m going to the treadmill for kick ass running. NOT! But just power walking and working up to a goal will increase my calorie burns and so on…

If it sounds like I’m more than a little unimpressed with my physical activity and progress — you’d be right. I mean, I’m still losing and in fact very rapidly. It’s the kind of loss where you say to yourself; I wonder if there is something wrong with me? I had to laugh at that thought when I had it! Like, are you kidding me? 3-months of hardcore cardio (sans 2-weeks) and 2 major physical training session per week — and I’m asking myself if there is something wrong with me losing so much weight?

Girl needs a reality check!!

My problem is though that I can’t get real excited about being on a recumbent bike. My heart rate rose to a whopping 89 this evening during a 1-hour ride. I’m not allowed to have tension set or to ride too fast. So, there you have it.

caprisTonight I stopped in at the Sports Authority. It’s conveniently located next door to the gym. I bought a new pair of  workout Capri just below the knee workout pants. $40 (I know!) but they have the Nike swoosh on the lower left front leg — looks kinda cool and after all, I hadn’t been putting in a lot of effort in the workout leggings while I was fat — black is black no matter the brand… but some of them are getting pretty thin… Those aren’t them in the photo, but that kind.

May 1st is the day I get to go without my cast shoe. My foot feels fine and looks fine but at times I am reminded that it might not be as right as I think it is so I’m going to be a good girl and see this through for the full 4-weeks. 18-days, or 2-weeks and 4-days left in the shoe. But shhhhh! I’m not wearing the shoe at the moment. No worries on that as long as I remember to walk flat, no bending and especially to bend my foot under the desk like I always do. I rarely have the shoe off and even wear it when I get up from a dead sleep to go to the bathroom. As for right now; I just changed from my workout legging to the new ones to see how well they fit. And, that’s why.

Advertisements

Oh the life of a contract worker!

So now, there is this…

My agent got me work right away. He got me assigned to a day job and thanked me profusely for doing this particular 1-day job. The job would start Thursday and end Thursday. I got a kick out of accepting the job; this meant that my agent had kept me unemployed for only 3-days. I was told that this would be a 1-day job in an administrative role — helping out.

Helping out? Thank you BodyBugg for showing me just how active and hard-working I was on this last simple “helping out” role. I wore 3″ wedges, black dress slacks and a nice top. My job was to, one-by-one remove 98 3- and 4-inch binders from tall shelves, remove the contents and place the contents in a shipping box. I stood in this dark little cubby hole where the shelves are and there was heater air blowing down on me.  I completed this task aver 6-hours of standing — never sat and then when on to the chore of moving files from one old file cabinet into one new file cabinet.

thurs

All the activity above, the peaked areas is me working and sweating. At 12:00PM you see a gaping hole. I had lunch and since I didn’t take one; I was reduced to a vending machine and I bought pop-chips; something my trainer does not endorse.

Once I got home — and let me tell ya… everything ached but when I looked at my activity log; how wonderful! I exceeded my steps quota, I exceeded my activity/calories burned quota, I exceeded my time of exercises quota and so on.  That said, I got a full 6-hour body workout and got paid as well. Thursday’s are my day off from the gym so I especially appreciated all of this “extra credit” on my activity log!

The company asked me back today (Friday) and I told them yes, but I had a morning interview and I could return after Noon.

I interviewed for a job this morning and they hired me on the spot. I’ll be there about 3-weeks and this will be a delightful gig! More of same; “helping out” by helping the company catch up on back work as well as being, basically an office manager. The ladies that I will be supporting seem like they are going to be a hoot to work with and I am very excited about this particular opportunity.

But in the meantime, there is no rest for the weary. I interviewed at 10:00 a.m. so I had to be there 15-minutes early, I had to be dressed and ready to go allowing myself a good 1-hour possibility-of-getting-lost lead time.

makeupSo you guys, here’s what I did: I dressed in my dress slacks and sleeveless knit. I wore flip-flops (had good shoes in the car). I wore my Old Navy Sweatshirt over everything (also had suit jacket in the car). My face was clean, my hair was clean. I left the house w/out makeup and the primary goal was to find the place, then go to parking lot and put on my makeup. Despite that I knew the company was NOT difficult to find, my agent said it was and so I thought it would be. It wasn’t. I think they say that so that the client will be concerned about being on time and leave earlier. That strategy certainly worked for me!

Anyways, I found the place, did my makeup, put on my shoes and swapped the sweatshirt for my suit jacket. Since I was early they got started with me early. The interview was brief and they told me to start on Monday. Woo Hoo — that was that!

But then I had to scurry home to change clothes and go back to the company I worked for yesterday. They let me go early — thank GOD because one of the tasks for today was to help this guy pack up his office. Seriously; what’s up with the man-labor? I stated with helping him but it was VERY uncomfortable. I think he felt a little bit exposed and intimidated so he politely asked me to go finish the other project and he would come get me after he assessed his things better and decided how he wanted to proceed. Short story — I finished my other project, he disappeared. They let me go home – end of story. I was thrilled to have the afternoon off.

However, still there is no rest for the weary. I have to hit the gym tonight; likely around 7:00 PM and THEN I’m free until 5:00 AM when I get up to go back to the gym for my training and weigh in day.

Speaking of weighing in…

wI’ll be honest here — it’s just easier to say it than dance around it — My highest weight was 244. I started training at 238.5 and on my home scale I am now down to 218. Please note that I am very tall. Generally I run two lbs lower at home than at the gym; stands to reason since I am dressed at the gym and because my digital scale is going to be a little different from the medical scale at the gym. If I’ 218 today at home, it’s possible that I’ll weight 217.5 tomorrow and that will give me a solid 220 (I HOPE) tomorrow morning with my trainer.  My last weigh-in weight was 223.5 but that was 2-weeks ago; both “A” and I missed training last Saturday.

I’m not sure that I will make 218 on ‘his’ scale tomorrow but you can be sure that I am going to eat a great deal of asparagus tonight. When I go to the gym this evening I’m pretty sure that I am going to start running on the Treadmills rather than hill climbing and power walking. “A” didn’t want me to start running because I had that foot issue last month.

Overnight and finally, the foot pain and swelling miraculously went away …and lately ‘m itching for the running. I plan on running in a 5K on the 4th of July so it’s best to get started. AND, I think my weight loss is slowing down; that’s kind of natural but I need to get more calorie burn. And I need a challenge. “A” said I shouldn’t start running yet because then I won’t have anything to work up to. Right now, “I” need something to work up to and to challenge myself. I also realized that we are almost half way through the training and ….. lordy! I have no idea what I should do about training — after training. Go at it again 1-time a week? Go at it on my own and then fail and go back to training?

It’s been a little disconcerting that lately I have run into a few people who are doing WeightWatchers and such things who report that they are losing at about the same rate that I am. When you weigh in all the cardio I do every day and the expensive training and all the things I cannot eat… I begin to wonder…. hummm…. but then again, I remember that I’ve tried to lose on my own and it didn’t work. Today I am sitting here comfortably in (if not a little bit too big) a pair of jeans that I have died to, not tried to but was dying to get into for 4-years.Now that I am in them — outdated, loose, and did I say outdated? I’ll never wear these again!

Anyways, I’m not sure those other people can say the same… they’re not working out (they say so) much less getting rigorous training so they may have lost the same amount of weight but they had not received the amount of body changes that I have thus far, and the changes that I will see moving forward. So there! Now I feel better.

So I’m just rambling out of the pure joy of actually having the time to! I am really looking forward to life after this “evening” workout but saddened that I have to get up at the crack of dawn for training. That said, I look forward to a full weekend of ME time before I start work again full-time; for a while.

Off to rest — until 6:00 PM. Me thinks now that time at the gym will be 7:30.

Lots going on and lots of weight coming off.

And yet, today is not a work day; nor was yesterday or the day before.

My 5-week contract ended and as it stands right now for being hired — time will tell. The team of the 4 of us were all interviewed before leaving the company for various roles. Those roles are not now readily available but could become open job postings in mid April. Therefore, I have been a free non-working spirit for a total of 3-days. And, I start a new job tomorrow. The thing about the new job I start tomorrow; it ends tomorrow. Yeah, a 1-day gig but one that will keep me in the good graces of my agent who was so grateful to me for taking this last-minute role.

I also interview on Friday morning for a longer termed job in an administrative role. That said, the ball is still rolling and so… I’m happy to keep the money coming in.

Bodybugg, Personal Training and weight loss

I can’t keep up with my falling pants and jeans size but here’s the exciting low-down on that: Dropped 2-jean sizes and happy to have successfully shopped at The Loft yesterday with a purchase of 1-pair white jean, 1-pair light washed jeans and 1 gorgeous pair of black dress slacks. All size 14’s and Ann Taylor’s size limit IS size 14. That is the biggest size. That said, twas an honor to bring home 3- perfectly fitting pair.

However, after wearing one pair of the jeans out last night (out to dinner, with the price tag still on the inside back of the jeans) they did, as I had hoped they wouldn’t — they stretched out to large proportions in the legs. They are going back to the store.  Yes, that’s tacky but I did ask if I could return them if they did indeed stretch out after wearing them. I wore the white ones briefly around the house and they too stretched out. Back to the store they go.

As for the black slacks — They are gorgeous and fit perfectly. And thank goodness I bought them — I’ll need them for the interview on Friday. If those stretch out — that’s easy to repair as pulling in inseams and such things is a simple task; as it is not sometimes, for jeans.

I’m sitting here at my desk in a Polo shirt. This is a big huge deal to me. I haven’t been able to look even reasonably attractive in a polo shirt and well, because they never fit. Too tight and too offensive. This one slid on and looks fantastic. No rolls no stomach (not nearly as much) and I look just above reasonably acceptable in this shirt. In fact, I’m going back for another one.

Summarizing: Two pant sizes down and falling still, 1 ‘tops’ size and a hell of  a lot of back fat gone.

This girl is starting to feel somewhat normal in size and confidence.

The BodyBugg remains a great tool for me and my trainer to communicate with. I love syncing it about twice a day to see where I am with exercise. Yesterday I walked and walked and walked the mall with friend which yielded me 38-minutes of exercise and about 4000 steps of the 10000 steps required in my quota — just by going shopping!

Meeting goal is definitely about cardio and exercise but in instances like this; walking is walking and at the end of the day it is the steps you took — not how you took them; i.e., shopping or banging down on a treadmill. But sure, hard cardio is better for me than strolling in a mall. However, and still — soon after that shopping trip I found myself on a treadmill for 40-minutes as a requirement before my training session. Even with the few extra steps I take walking and ‘doing’ around the gym floor, my total steps yesterday totaled 13,494, So see! The mall strolling did count!!

I had a few down (lower exertion) days last week. My trainer texted me this past Saturday at 5:30 a.m.; just as I was dreading rolling out of bed for that 7:00 a.m. training and told me he had to cancel. He was sick. I don’t think I’ve ever heard such good news in my entire life!! Back to bed for me. For reasons which I cannot —  honestly remember, I wasn’t able to get to the gym during the day. As the evening rolled closer and closer I still couldn’t seem to get it going.

Then, I had a family issue and even so, I knew I had to get to the gym to check in. My trainer would never know what exactly I did at the gym; just that I was there. The day turned out to become a very upsetting one and when I finally got to the gym — I had no shoes with me so I couldn’t work out. I did go in, check in, hit the ladies room and told the guy who looked at me weird as I headed for the front door that I had left my shoes in the car (and never to return that evening).  Yup! I cheated.

But still, this is another case where I had been very active during the day and that activity did show up on the BB report in 31-minutes of time. And, that was close enough to cover it up — because “A” looks at the end of week report which gives weekly averages — he doesn’t go through every single days report. And heck yeah — I balanced that average yesterday with 3-miles on the books, 13,500 steps and 1-hour and 36-minutes of cardio. PLUS my training session.

3.13

The first clump on the activity expenditure report is me getting up and getting dressed, moving about, feeding the cat and constantly up and down my staircase. The next clumps of sporadic activity are me and my friend walking and shopping. The pause in the middle is lunch at noon (grilled salmon).  The smaller clumps between 3:00 and 5:00 are me at home, once again getting ready for something; changing into gym clothes, up and down the stairs again and other preparedness preparation — the power in the neighborhood went down at 3:30 p.m.  Still, I went to the gym and that clump should be obvious. The darker steady clump is straight cardio and the up and down activity with peaks is personal training. Standing still; even though exercising doesn’t give as much ‘drama’ on the visual readout — but trust me — that man tried to kill me yesterday!

The other peaks on the chart are fairly small. The clump between 8:00 and 9:00 is me fumbling around the house in the dark looking for clothes and a bag to take stuff to a friend’s house; to change clothes and head out to dinner. What else is there to do during a power outage — which by the way, ended at 12:30 a.m.

But I dunno – maybe I’m a geek but to be able to track my day and activity and whereabouts is nothing but fascinating.

My end of week reports still show too much fat consumption (it’s so hard!). I’m down to 21% intake from 33% or higher. Still, he wants me at 15% and that my friends, is rough — especially when salmon comes into play. I’m not eating anything I’m not supposed to be and fat is very little. For that 21% I do blame the salmon. But then again — what else can you do when your taken to an Asian Bistro (PF Changs?)  but have the baked salmon???

Weight!

12-official-lbs gone since 2/2 when I started training. However, since “A” was sick last Saturday, we did not have a weigh-in on ‘his’ scale. Still, my own scales reads differently but trends the same. On my home scale I took that loss number, upped it by 2-lbs and entered that number on the BodyBugg report. If that number is true; and it is certainly very close then I have lost 13.5-ish-lbs. By this Saturday we’ll expect to see another 2- or 3-lbs gone making that number around 15-lbs gone. AND adding that to the 10-lbs I lost before beginning with “A” — think 25-lbs total!

WORK

So much for that mini-vacation I thought I’d have this week before hitting the job market. My agent is too good and, as I noted, already has me working and interviewing. Today I had to do a drug screening for the day job — that kind of infuriates me since the wait there took a good chunk out of the day. But being a good sport will keep me on the agents amazing side.

At this moment..

I need to figure out how to use my time for the rest of this day. I do have to hit the gym for 1-hour but 5:00PM is not the time to do that. Planning on 7:30 – 8:30 or thereabouts so that I will miss the crowd; though its more about parking that equipment access. I don’t want to get home too late and DO want some quality me time before falling asleep. This means: Showered, clothes laid out, alarm clock set and me in bed by 9:30 p.m. all primed to watch TV (for a change) and fall into a deep sleep while watching it!

And then… Work tomorrow, gym (oh wait, tomorrow is a rest day!) and same scenario as this evening with some changes. I have a 10:00 a.m. interview and THANKFULLY I fit into the suit jacket and I have gorgeous new black slacks and a slimmer body. After the 10:00 a.m. interview I am free for the day — until Monday; if I get hired.

So yeah. Lots going on and lots of weight coming off.

 

Shhh… Don’t tell my Trainer!

Don’t tell my Trainer

…that this evenings cardio session went very quickly and basically, a piece of cake!

I always run into him; or rather him into me when I workout at night. The man is a beast and trains people until, oh, about 8:00 PM and then he’s on his own time at the gym working out and absolutely doing his rounds checking up on his clients. Knowing this, I can’t skip workouts and should do them in the evenings so that he can see me there. That’s his thing: “I want to see you here every day”. And it’s not like he can’t check on the check-in logs but you guys know what I mean. As well, the BodyBugg doesn’t lie and this is exactly why he wants me wearing it.

BodyBugg report (BodyMedia, inc)

The more I wear this and the more I study it’s reports, the more I get it. For example: Last night I was looking things over and saw a message on my calories burned line that read: “We guesstimate that you are going to exceed your calorie burn target by about 172-calories”. It says that because the day was not quite over and all calories had not been accounted for. My Bugg is programed for being upright; LOL not lying down, from 6am to midnight. So, it will continue to, and I will continue to burn calories — those that we burn just by living — up until midnight. (Then I go into sleep — lying down mode, and sleep mode that is).

Last night I panicked — How am I going to burn 172-caloires?? Oh yeah, that’s right, I just have to move around a little more and those calories that we burn just by living will add up and a little activity will booster it further.

So I went into my closet and hug up all those clothes on the floor; neatly folded but needed to be hung up – for the record. An hour later I came back and re synced my Bugg and it showed I had burned off the 172-calories — and then some.

I also realized; and maybe I’m a slow learner that every second that I am not attached to this thing is lost information and makes data inaccurate.

So the question is: When do I take the time to charge it?

And let me tell you people — this thing is ug-ly. I’m taking my mom to a doctor appointment tomorrow and while it’s nice out these days, I’m going to have to hide it under a sweater. (She doesn’t know about all of this just yet). AND — this is the newest version which comes in WHITE with a white/grey armband. Mine is already dirty. Inside. Thanks to my spray tan. I hope there are replaceable bands online. The old ones did have them and I always saw them at the gym. Of course when I wanted to buy one tonight I’m told there aren’t any and that now they only carry the new BoodyBuggs and there are no accessories. That’s just my luck.

Anyways, I was hoping I could wear it only sometimes and do my diet and fitness incognito — but impossible. I should wear it proudly and maybe I will someday — when I am a walking example of its success AND that the armband doesn’t show all the smushy fat around it.

Progress

7-days straight at the gym!!! My home scale gave me the same weight as the scale at my Trainer’s on the first day so when my scale showed a loss of 5.5-lbs this morning, I was excited but I’m going to wait, and believe that when I see it on his scale! The disadvantage I now have  is the night weigh-in and the sodium that was in my store-bought chicken breast — slices. Deli meat.

Yeah, I had to buy the sliced chicken, and I mean HAD TO make a grilled chicken salad and the sooner the better because I was way off my food schedule. None of the chicken in my freezer had been defrosted so in trying to stick to the plan I bought some sliced chicken by Oscar Meyer. And yes, as you can imagine, it tasted like hot dog and the sodium in my food log today as a result of it is SO HUGE that I got a warning along with a congratulations on my food intake. Basically that I did excellent of food again today and with a stiff warning about sodium.  Noting here that I NEVER buy that stuff and only cook real chicken breasts.. but this was an unfortunate emergency.

The interview suit jacket that didn’t fit well enough to wear for interviews last week… because the front button and button-hole were MILES apart… Folks, that jacket fit this morning. Not completely to button but close enough for each side panel to meet me in the middle and close enough now to wear. Now that I don’t need it. For a while anyway…

That is a lot of change in just one week, no?

The greatest challenge(s)

1. The food. The food and choices and how much  — it’s all a new experience now. The way what you eat unfolds at the of the day in reports (the science) based on everything else recorded is crazy. Crazy good. I’m also having difficulty, evidently, making the right choices — the most difficult is to remember to have a serving of healthy carbs with a serving of protein; never to have one without the other. Kashi GoLean is both. Well at least I’m getting that right.

2. Staying motivated. I’m really excited and fired up now in all the newness and the toys; especially after the interview suit incident, but I worry about how long I will stay excited!? There will be a great challenge here to stick with the program but I know that “A” won’t tolerate that! He has a lot at stake in this too. He wants my before and after photo on the wall as one of his success stories. He flat-out told me, he wants that for him and the success for me. Win-Win!

What else?

My free days are numbered (before I start my full-time job). Today was luxurious! I slept in until 6:30; which actually pissed me off because I wanted to sleep later and I seemed wide awake. BUT no, I fell back to sleep and had a crazy cool dream. Dreams. I love them. I woke at 8:45 and that was delightful.

Tuesday I have to take my mom to the doctor but as far as she’s concerned, I won’t stay for dinner with them because I have already planned to meet an old co-worker for dinner and idle chit-chat. The real story is that I have my training appointment at 8:00PM and these cannot be missed — it’s not tolerated and is probably in my contract. I will probably tell my mom about the training in time but not until I really “start to show” and she starts asking questions. I just don’t want to get into it and talk about it or be watched as I shrink (and what I eat) make that information something her tell everyone. Only me, my best friend and my trainer know about this for now.
(Evening workout and cardio)

Wednesday looks free — I hope!!
(I hope to do the Wednesday Body pump class and some cardio; always the cardio but bodypump class depends on my availability).

Thursday is a work day but a training work day. Friday is not a work day so it could be a free one unless someone want’s do so something. Honestly, If I have to meet one more person for lunch… 3 lunch dates in the last week and a half and one tomorrow with mom after the appt .
(evening cardio)

Friday. Hoping very much to have this free day as well (yard work, which I will enjoy)
(Cardio and Bodypump)

Saturday – Training first thing in the morning and cardio as well. Home by 9:0o am and I have plans to see an old friend.

Sunday — Everyone leave me alone!

And Monday — Join the ranks of Full Time employment!

I accept!

I got the job – the one that pays good money!

gotjob

I’m so very excited of course and look forward to not starting until the 11th — with the exception of a days training on the 7th. And my apologies, I started writing this last Wednesday when I got the good news – I just got busy…

…and got down to the business of my Personal Training. Yes, it’s official.

This photo below was taken at 6:30 a.m. of the sun rising, of course in the east of me. Heading west, of course, I saw the reflection of this gorgeous sunrise in my side view mirror and I  just HAD to stop and take a photo. I The sunrise is gorgeous enough but it was the ‘accidental’ reflection against the car that made it the money shot.

IMG_0444

Even though I didn’t ‘officially’ start training until this past Saturday, “A” had me start; well now that I think of it, I started training on the day the credit card was swiped, but we didn’t do a ‘session’ until Saturday. Anyway, he  ‘went over things’ and we got my BodyBugg adjusted. He told me to do cardio every night until I meet with him.

And so I met with him on Saturday and we did a pretty darn hard workout!!

At any rate, below is one of my daily report cards… I’m loving seeing the sleep data! Until A and I get together and go over compiled data for the week, I’m just a little bit in the dark with what these numbers mean — other than that the right hand column is full of positive information.

FEB1

What’s weird, and likely true:  I don’t feel like or seems like I have walked that many steps. But there is an embedded graph which proves it.

That said, this is a clip of the full range of the day and circled first is the cardio with training. Cardio is the first tall ‘mass’ and the shorter and intermittent peaks and valleys is the training. And, in the next series of spikes is me at iTan, Old Navy, then Trader Joe’s and finally Costco. Then I’m home doing not much, and then a rise in the middle and I think this is where I was trying on clothes to see what I’d wear to the party, then shower and hair. Then, a nap and then around 2:45 you seem me actually “getting ready” to go… and so on.

FASCINATING!

compiled

Anyways, lots of things too look at in this program and it really is — something — and mind you — I have the poor people Bodybugg.

So, so far so good!

But it has been a crazy busy week — the kind of crazy busy with transitions… like doing one errand or class only to have to drive around come home to change clothing, maybe in some instances remove things from the car for a friend visiting (and I had to drive to lunch) then changing for a workout, putting things back in the car, then a date for this and time for that and …. it has been non-stop like this for the entire week.

And “Scarlett” knows she’s a princess and that maybe this is a day in the life for most. But this chick is exhausted and today (Sunday) is the only day I didn’t have to go do something; with the exception of the morning BodyPump class and 40-minutes of cardio.

Here is a sneak preview of my class getting started!

GETTING STARTED

For the first time ever, I really struggled in this class. I think I was just run down completely with the crazy week winding down and the daily trips to the gym for cardio, and cardio and more cardio and cardio.  Also, in training yesterday, it was a full body workout with emphasis on core and upper body. Today I seemed weak. But, A said to do the workout — it’s good for me to keep my form.

Wrapping it up…

…Cuz girl needs her beauty sleep and tomorrow is the first of 7-days in a row without a morning, afternoon, or evening appointment. WOO-HOO. Still, I will have to look forward to 1-hour of cardio at some point in the day — but otherwise, free as a bird!

This photo was taken of me last night.  I cropped just me out of a huge photo because I wanted to post this one. This is me working very hard to completely hide myself behind my hands and crossed legs. The idea of posting this here is to use it as a before photo and fine statement of everything wrong about my being fat — hiding, being mortified and … pissed off. The next times that people insist on shooting pics of me – each next time will show an improvement and I will post it!

camoflaging

OK… off to bed!