Pushing the envelope!


Heinous crime!

This weekends eating, that is. There must be something about a stress fracture that puts on an appetite. What I really think the problem is, is change.

I’ve never enjoyed the workouts; just the results of the workouts. I did partially enjoy the incline climbing and the power walking and the anticipation of running again. Despite that I have more than 13-5K races, 1 4-miler and 1-8K on my race wall — yes, race numbers are framed and on my office wall.. Despite that my trainer forbade to me run at the gym for two reasons.

The first, because he felt that the (at the time unidentified) injury to my foot was due to change in weight and stamina. He says that sometimes when people has less weight and have been in training their gait and stance changes and that could have caused some trauma to the foot because of stance changes and such things. We both thought that is what the problem was at first and I was happy to think it would all clear up. Not irresponsibility on the part of my trainer  — he only knew what I told him about the pain and he never saw it swollen.

The only time that he’d seen the foot nekid is when I’d take the shoe off for the weigh-in (no, no socks and this drives him insane)! The welling always went down while in the sneaker so he never saw it swollen and between you and me, that made me think he thought I was making it all up.

I continued to do the jumping he asked me to do and on one occasion that jumping over the line thing finally did the foot in. More swelling, more pain and so much so that I had to give up the treadmill. I told my trainer — NO more jumping! He asked why; like nothing had happened and I told him. Finally he paid attention to me and canceled my appointments until I saw a doctor. But again, he can only know what I tell him.

But anyway and sorry I got off track… My trainer forbade me to run because he felt something was going on with my foot back in February and the second reason is that he wanted to teach me to run. I sure looked forward to that! He wanted to get my posture in tack… and we’re still working on that one… he wanted to get my strides right and so on. Now, with the foot injury and my foot being in the pretty black shoe cast, all I can do is ride the recumbent bike for an hour and that my friends, is not that challenging. Doctor’s orders: No tension or high speeds. Just a nice leisurely magazine reading kind of speed. And that’s been bumming me out.

Somewhere in this mix; the workout boredom perhaps comes this appetite and the beginnings of old behavior!!! I’ve eaten things that are borderline legal on my Trainer’s food list and eating too many portions of the things that are borderline on my trainers list.  PUSHING THE ENVELOPE.

I pushed it yesterday too and while I tried to “be good” today… right now I have the very last of something I should not eat in the oven. I wasn’t going to but… like the old attitude: Just this once, or just this one time and then that will be it!

And I will eat the forbidden food tonight! I hope to enjoy it and feel so guilty about it that I lose sleep over it! I mean that!

Purchased round 2

I have 4-sessions left on my first training ticket and I managed to find the money; the right credit card to make a purchase for a 2nd round — another 25-weeks; two days a week training for the next 3-months. This is no time; or maybe no better time to sin and repent! We are; my trainer and me 1/2 way to my goal weight. 38-lbs gone and about 35-lbs to go. Halfway through this I am cheating. This must stop.

And it will. It really will. It’s easier to eat right at work because there is a distraction — called work itself and I cannot eat what I don’t take with me — so there lies the answer! And besides — after I eat what I eat tonight, there will be none of it left and nothing bad left to eat.

I almost think this is an expected hiccup in this phase of it all. And it will pass.

Now that I am through yelling at myself

No great things happening in life, but no bad things either. I am so much smaller so that makes all in the world right!  I’m still in my contract job and they have asked for me for yet another week. But they have told me it’s unfair to keep telling every Thursday if I’m staying on or not (agreed — even though I appreciate the money, they’ve kept me 6-weeks longer than planned) so that I can get busy on finding a real job. Unfortunately this is not a company that can afford to hire me at this time. However, they want me back in 2-weeks for 2-more weeks to cover someones vacation. If available, I’ll do it but I hope to be unavailable.

The work situation is bitter-sweet in terms of leaving. I’ve been there long enough to blend in with this dual family owned business and it feels like home away from home. The pay was quite well considering the duties of the job, the easy commute and the early hours of 7:30 to 4:00. They will miss me and my purpose there. Maybe if I do go back for those 2-weeks they’ll realize the need to keep me. Or maybe I’ll find a better job. Who knows?

The dove on my window sill is still nesting. Mom and Dad do take turns with the sitting on it (the egg) task and today was day 15 since the egg was laid. Theoretically that egg should be cracking open any minute. I wish it would hurry up and happen! I’ve been home most of all weekend and available to watch this miracle. My guess is that it will hatch when I am not home.

However, looking at this egg — photo taken this morning while mom and pop went off to do something else.. it looks like the shell is being pecked at from the inside. But, no chick yet.

egg

The weekend

Highly productive and highly extremely relaxing!

Saturday:

Training with my trainer and the usual shop fest afterwards. Generally I tend to want to go straight home from training, about 8:00 a.m. to crawl back into bed where I wanted to be in the first place. But generally I tend to stop at the grocery store or Walmart to get some tasks done. This particular morning I needed milk from the grocery store and a few returns at Walmart that landed me carousing the store.

Then, suddenly with some energy, at home I began the outside yard work — good to be outside, it was warm and it just felt good to be out there before the neighbor kids headed out to their back yard and make all kinds of annoying kids noises.

A nice nap — I just plain fell asleep watching a little TV.

Nothing exciting for a Saturday night and I went to bed earlier than usual.

Sunday:

Slept in until 6:00 and then until 8:30. Good enough!

Breakfast in bed, more yard work, food prep for next week; I grilled chicken and cut it up

Watched some TV

Backed up my iPhone.

Updated my iPhone.

Simple weekend! I love it!

On Monday..

I really DO want to get to the gym directly after work. I can be there by 4:30 and it’s not going to be too crowded to change. I want my trainer to see me there — when I go in at 8:30 or 8:00 he’s usually gone by then. Hopefully he’ll teach me to use the rowing machine. He says I’ll get a better calorie burn from it than the bike and as part of this battle on my upper body — he wants me on this! Yes, it stress fracture healing friendly!

 

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